This weekend will bring the epicness of epicness that is the Equine Affair. I go forth armed with
my husband’s credit card a strict budget and a list of things that Willow clearly NEEDS to achieve FEI greatness (or just trot around the arena all the way). Behold as I try to justify the exorbent amount of money that I am about to spend in T -2 days…
1) Big girl clippers. Not dinky Whal face jobbies (that she smacked out of my hand last spring rather violently with a front foot in an effort to dissuade my beautifacation efforts), but serious clippers. To clip her whole body. Preferably of the cordless variety so I am free to chase her about the property and scream, “COME BACK! I JUST WANT TO LOVE YOU!” I have my eyeballs on a pair of Whal Moser Arco’s. This is a justified purchase because Willow having a trace clip (at least) will drastically cut down the cooling out period this winter. Since I’m sacrificing moving to an indoor for the good of our budget… ahem.
2) Leather halter. Willow is a woman of quality and substance, and therefore deserves the appropriate clothing. Right now she just has her turnout halter. That’s it. I’m a horrible horse Mommy, and I’m sure all the other horses of quality and substance laugh at her. She also needs something nice to make her Southern debute when we move this winter. They are also much safer to ship in. And when we get crowned Intro level champions next season, we will wear it as the crowds
part in total terror at our uncontrolled collection of afforementioned glory cheer and a blanket of roses is placed across her shoulders. I don’t have a specific halter picked out, but I WILL get a good deal on this. Valegro has a leather halter, and so will Willow. I’m convinced that that is the key to Olympic success. 😉
3) Quarter sheet… am I the only one who pronounces quarter like quart-ah? Because I am once again saving us money, MIKE. I need a quarter sheet to help keep my chicken leggies and Willow’s scrumptious rear in the warmth as I battle sub-zero temps in my quest for Southern Intro level domination in 2013. I will be purchasing it in some sort of odd, obnoxious color, so that I might also use it as a rescue flag when Willow takes flight with my happy butt in an attempt to rid herself of her new gear and we end up 4 towns over. There are upsides and downsides to being blessed with a ridiculously athletic partner.
4) Trailer. I know that I’m not just going to be able to pack one up in my suitcase, but this is a good place to gather the intel that I’ll need to persuade Mike to delve further into the equine money pit by buying a trailer for HRH Willow to ride in. I found a pink one the other day during my quest, but I didn’t even bother showing it to the part pooper, because he is just that. A party pooper. I mean what horse wouldn’t want to ride in this awesomeness?!
5) A coat for Dixie. Because even though she is covered in hair, she is a wouss and if she’s shivery NOW, when it’s still ABOVE 20 degrees in the morning. She will be screwed this winter without a jacket. I will find one to match her hot pink zebra striped collar and leash, as well as her pink blingy name tag. It probably should also have a hole, so we can attach one of those giant flag poles that they put on kids shopping carts. Then we will be able to find her if the snow piles up over a foot and a half. She’s delightfully short.
6) A blingy browband. For the obvious reasons. All the cool kids are doing it. Perhaps I can find one with a lighthouse type impliment on it, to warn others to steer clear in the warm-up arena. That might be a little too obnoxious though.
7) A pony for Shannon. I’m kidding about this.
But only a little bit.
So that’s my shopping list, y’all! I’m sure that I’ll wander home, disheveled, with stars in my eyes at the amazingness of all things horsey that will take place this weekend. I’m writing a formal apology to my husband about the credit card extravaganza that is brewing in my purse as soon as I hit the publish button.
SPRINGFIELD OR BUST!!!